My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
how does that bad decision feel?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
