On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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