Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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