As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
