Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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