Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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