last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
where does the pee come out of this thing
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
