so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
