That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
