So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
