so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
