So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
