did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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