A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize