ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
