I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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