physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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