"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
