No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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