Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
