Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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