Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
two words...techno handjob
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
