waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
