i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
