i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
