Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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