I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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