did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
