Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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