So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
