i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
