a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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