I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
