she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
