I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
