We got so high we made milksteak
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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