Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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