So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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