hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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