wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
