The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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