this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
