**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
