she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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