Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
