We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
