My balls are so social today.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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