I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
