I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
