When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
