they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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